Is That What I Really Look and Sound Like?

After teaching a Zoom session of my new 3xxx-level German course on Monday, I was disappointed in my ability to form coherent sentences, argue a point, or simply give instructions in German. I felt I had extremely long pauses, disconnected thoughts, and an abundance of grammar mistakes. I had for the first time, however, managed to click the "record" button (part-way through the 90 minute class). The next morning, I looked at part of the video, just to see how it "turned out." What a surprise! My language production seemed more natural than it had felt, so I stopped being so hard on myself.

I also realized that talking into a microphone to silent stares amplifies how self-conscious one can be when speaking in a foreign language; it was good for me to recognize this hyper-attention to self is affecting both me and my students! The other thing that jumped out at me was my facial expressions. I can't remember the last time I was videotaped while teaching, so I certainly haven't analyzed my physical activity in the classroom in a very long time. With this Zoom recording, however, suddenly I was staring at myself, watching my every move (smile, glance, raised eyebrow, frown, look of surprise, etc.).

I got some good laughs out of watching myself, but also had a much better sense of what the students were receiving on the other end. I realized they weren't only hearing my voice, but seeing my animated face and hand gestures as I explained concepts or gave examples. After being able to hear and see myself from the student view, I no longer felt quite so disconnected from my students, or disappointed by my performance.

- Beth Kautz, Department of German, Nordic, Slavic & Dutch